مات وهو يسمع صوت الحور العين

مات وهو يسمع صوت الحور العين

http://www.quran-radio.com/qases23.htm

هذه القصة قالها الشيخ خالد الراشد في شريطه "من حالٍ إلى حال"...وقد أثرت في نفسي فأردت ان انشرها
كان هناك ثلاثة من الشبان يتعاونون على الإثم والمعاصي...فكتب الله الهداية لأحد هؤلاء الثلاثة فقرر أن يدعو زميليه ويعظهم لعل هدايتهم تكون على يديه
وفعلا استطاع ان يؤثر عليهم والحمد لله أصبحوا شباباً صالحين..
واتفقوا على ان يقوموا بدعوة الشباب الغارقين في بحر المعاصي ليكفروا عن ماضيهم


ومرة من المرات اتفقوا على ان يجتمعوا في المكان الفلاني قبل الفجر بساعة للذهاب الى المسجد بغية التهجد والعبادة...فتأخر واحد منهم فانتظروه..فلما جاء اليهم..كان لم يبق على آذان الفجر الا نصف ساعة..
وبينما هم في طريقهم الى المسجد إذ بسيارة تكاد تنفجر من صوت الغناء والموسيقى الصاخبة..فاتفقوا على ان يقوموا بدعوة ذلك الشاب لعل الله يجعل هدايته على ايديهم
فأخذوا يؤشرون له بأيديهم لكي يقف..فظن ذلك الشاب انهم يريدون مسابقته
فاسرع بسيارته..لكي يسبقهم
فأشاروا اليه مرةً أخرى..
فظن ذلك الشاب انهم يريدون المقاتلة!!
فأوقف سيارته ونزل منها
فإذ بجثة ضخمة ومنكبين عريضين وفوة وضخامة في العضلات!!..وقال لهم بصوت غضب:من يريد منكم المقاتلة؟؟
فقالوا: السلام عليك
فقال الشاب في نفسه(الذي يريد المقاتلة لا يمكن أن يبدأ بالسلام
فأعاد عليهم السؤال:من منكم يريد المقاتلة؟؟
فأعادوا: السلام عليك
فقال: وعليكم السلام..ماذا تريدون؟؟
فقالوا له: ألا تعلم في أي ساعةٍ أنت؟..انها ساعة النزول الإلهي نزولاً يليق به تعالى الى السماء الدنيا فيقول هل من تائب فأغفر له؟..هل من سائل فأعطيه؟؟..ياأخينا اتق الله...ألا تخاف من الله؟! ألا تخاف من عقابه؟! ألا تخاف من سوء الخاتمة؟!
فقال لهم: ألا تدرون من أنا؟؟
قالوا: من أنت؟
قال: أنا حسان الذي لم تخلق النار إلا له
فقالوا: استغفر الله..كيف تيأس وتقنط من روح الله؟؟ ألا تعرف انه يغفر الذنوب جميعا؟...ألم يقل ربك (ان الله لايغفر ان يشرك به ويغفر مادون ذلك لمن يشاء)
وأخذوا يذكرونه بالله وبواسع رحمته..وبالجنه والثواب العظيم
فبكى حسان بكاءً شديداً..وقال:ولكن أنا لم أترك مصية من المعاصي الا وفعلتها..وأنا الآن سكران!!!!...فهل يقبل الله توبتي؟؟
فقالوا: نعم بل ويبدلك بها حسنات..فما رأيك ان نأخذك معنا الى المسجد لنصلي الفجر؟
فوافق حسان وبالفعل أخذوه معهم
وفي أثناء الصلاة شاء الله أن يتلوا الإمام قوله تعالى: (فل ياعبادي الذين أسرفوا على أنفسهم لا تقنطوا من رحمة الله,إن الله يغفر الذنوب جميعاً)
فانفجر حسان بالبكاء..ولما انتهت الصلاة قال: لم أشعر بلذة الصلاة منذ سنين
وأخذ كل من في المسجد يهنئونه بتوبته
ولما خرج الأربعة من المسجد قالوا له: أين أبوك؟
قال حسان: إن أبي يصلي في المسجد الفلاني.وهو عادةً يجلس في المسجد الى شروق الشمس لذكر الله وقراءة القرآن
فلما ذهبوا الى ذلك المسجد وكانت الشمس قد أشرقت..أشار حسان إلى والده..وقد كان شيخاأ كبيراً ضعيفاً محتاج إلى قوة حسان وشبابه
فذهبوا هؤلاء الشباب اليه وقالوا ياشيخ إن معنا ابنك حسان
فقال الشيخ: حسان!!!..آآآه الله يحرق وجهك بالنار ياحسان
فقالوا له: معاذ الله ياشيخ لماذا تقول هذا؟؟ إن ابنك قد تاب وأناب الى ربه.
وارتمى حسان على قدم والده وأخذ يقبلها..فبكى والد حسان وضمه الى صدره
وذهب حسان إلى أمه وقبل يدها وقدمها وقال لها سامحيني ياأمي..سامحيني
فبكت العجوز فرحاً بعودة حسان
وفي يوم من الأيام قال حسان في نفسه(لايكفر ذنوبي إلا أن أجعل كل قطرة دم من دمي في سبيل الله)
وقرر الذهاب الى الجهاد مع زملاؤه الصالحين
فذهب الى والده وقال ياأبي أريد ان أذهب الى الجهاد
فقال أبوه: ياحسان نحن فرحنا بعودتك..وأنت تريد أن تحرمنا منك مرة أخرى؟
فقال حسان: أرجوك ياأبي لاتحرمني شرف الجهاد والشهادة
فوافق أبوه على ذلك
وذهب الى أمه وقبل قدمها: وقال ياأماه..أريد ان اذهب الى ساحات القتال
قالت ياحسان فرحنا بعودتك وانت تريد ان تذهب الى الجهاد؟
قال ياأمي ان كنتم تحبونني فدعوني أجاهد في سبيل الله
فقالت أنا موافقة ولكن بشرط أن تشفع لنا يوم القيامة
وبالفعل تدرب حسان على الجهاد واستعمال السلاح وأتقن في شهور معدودة أساليب القتال!
ولما جاءت اللحظة الحاسمة..
ونزل حسان الى ساحات القتال
ومعه زملاؤه الصالحين
وكان حسان في كهف من الكهوف..وإذ بقذيفة من طائرات العدو تسقط على قمة الجبل وتصيب حسان
فسقط حسان من أعلى الجبل...ووقع صريعا على الأرض
وقد تكسرت عظامه وهو يسبح في بركه من الدماء.. فاقترب منه أصحابه..وقالوا: حسان.. ياحسان
فإذ بحسان يقول: اسكتوا..فوالله إني لأسمع صوت الحور العين ينادينني من وراء الجبل...ثم لفظ الشهادتين ومات
هذا حسان الذي كان يقول ان النار لم تخلق إلا له...وها هن الحور العين يرقصن فرحا وشوقا للقاء حسان
سبحان الله...

How to Be Proactive

------->>> Be proactive to get what you want and to be efficient.

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Proactive

Being proactive means thinking and acting ahead - basically, this means using foresight. It's a great method for avoiding more work down the road but also can be extremely important for averting disasters, planning well for the future and for instituting systems at work, in study, and at home that make life easier for not just you, but others as well. Many of us look to proactive people as the instigators of action and creative ideas in society. Here are some suggestions for helping you to become a more proactive person.
editSteps

1-Self Reflect, look at yourself and ask some questions:
What kinds of tasks do or don't come your way regularly? For example, at work, at home, during study etc.
What kinds of tasks come in large groups?
What kinds of tasks need immediate attention when they arrive?
2-Examine critically how you might perform those tasks more efficiently. Before the next rush:
Create a plan, procedure, checklist or routine to accomplish the task.
Recruit and instruct others to assist with an urgent or large task.
Gather information you will need to perform a task, or if necessary information comes from a flow of people who bring the tasks, create a script, checklist, or form to capture it consistently.
Look for steps in the process to eliminate, consolidate, or shorten.
3-Try to prevent problems from ever arising. This means tackling possible failings in advance to prevent them from becoming a reality. Get into the habit of taking precautions and developing fallback plans.
4-Develop a mindset that looks to solve problems instead of dwelling on them. Here’s how:
a. Define the problem (what is it exactly?)
b. Decide what needs to happen to overcome the problem and how you’re going to do that; and
c. Get on with it!
5-Get and stay ahead of less-urgent, day-to-day tasks. Doing so means that they'll be out of the way when rushes come and will not be worrying you unnecessarily. Pay particular attention to preventative maintenance, whether that means checking the fluids in your car, restocking your pantry, or setting aside a bit of money in savings each week. A little effort up front could save you from a larger crisis later.
6-Know which tasks are priorities and which can wait. Write out daily lists of tasks and head the list, ‘I will do’ and not ‘to do’. Boldly cross off each item as it is achieved. Keep this list close at hand and let it direct your actions. If it goes too long without crossing anything off, reassess what you are doing to make sure that you do finish the tasks listed on it.
7-Eliminate altogether any task that is truly unnecessary. Some things do not need doing, or do not need to be done by you. Do not waste time on them and do not allow a misplaced sense of guilt lead you into thinking that somehow you are responsible for them. If tasks are unnecessary, they will not add to your effort and are thus, a waste of energy. Be ruthless in making this assessment about the value of a task.
8-Evaluate your procedures and processes as you use them. What works and what does not? Make notes for improvements, and incorporate those improvements during the next lull. Discard anything that does not work but take care to note when something is in need of tweaking and adjust it accordingly so that it does work.
9-Try to anticipate needs. Are rushes seasonal? Are there extra activities associated with certain times of the day, week, month, or quarter? Can you prepare in advance? Look ahead and do not be afraid of the unknown. A small amount of future stability can be self-generated by planning ahead and being ready for those things over which you do have some control.
10-Try to anticipate things you will need to know. Can you learn a new skill ahead of time? Can you apply a skill you already have in a new way? Watch the trends around you; keep up-to-date by reading and continuous learning. Proactive people are successful because they are immersed in unfolding history as well as understanding the lessons of the past.
11-Look for ways to automate routine tasks. Computers can manipulate data in all sorts of ways. Even having a template or a standard plan of action can save time. If you work in a team context, delegation is also a form of automation, in that knowing the best person to do a task will automatically result in its being done to the best level possible, removing it from the pile of "to-do's". Thus, have in place a system that automatically moves tasks to those best suited to them.

Seven Powerful Steps to Increase Self-Confidence

We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised. Thus, as an adult those who have experience any form of deprivation, they need to re-establish what is their birth-right: Self-confidence/Self-esteem.

1.) Ask yourself, "What would be the worst outcome?" We tend to place excess importance on potential problems-a.k.a.-Worrying ahead syndrome. We have an infinite amount of energy so let's apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don't. Then invest your energy wisely.

2.) Disengage the nagging, negative internal critical voice. That negative internal critical voice can keep anyone stuck. To disengage the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or simply change the internal voice to the Disney Channel. Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck seriously if they were criticizing you? The point is to disengage the critical voice by altering the way it nags at you. If you hear your own voice or a critical parent voice nagging you, it will paralyze you. If you hear a funny voice, you laugh and maybe hear the irony of your negative internal critic and continue onward.

3.) When doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it. Close your eyes, then, vividly imagine you succeeding at what you are planning to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.

4.) Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.

5.) Act "As-if." Act as-if you already have the habit/behavior you desire. If you were confident, "How would you be feeling? What would you be doing? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself-self-talk?" By asking yourself these questions, you compel yourself to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting "As-if" you are confident. As you continue to act "As-If" you will notice you are acting less and less as your behavior becomes a habit. Within 30 to 45 days you'll develop it into a natural habit/behavior.

6.) Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.

7.) Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD

10 Ways To Increase Your Self-Confidence

If you look at most successful people, you'll see that they all have one thing in common - self-confidence. Yes, some people are born with it but for most other people, it's a learned skill.

Here are my top suggestions to increase your confidence:

1. Work on your body language.

We've all been at places where someone quite ordinary strides into a room, makes eye contact and starts impressing the socks off everybody. Or where you think somebody's at least 6 feet tall because of their bearing and the way they carry themselves and then later you realize they're quite average.

Like it or not - first impressions do count. So stand tall and practise good posture. Imagine that you're being pulled by a string going all the way from your toes to the top of your head. And whenever you enter a room, don't walk in almost apologetically. Stride in, make eye contact and be the first to introduce yourself.

2. Get involved in a physical activity - walking, swimming, etc.

Any physical exercise like walking, running, dancing, etc. will make you feel better about yourself. Firstly, exercising releases all those good hormones and then your body image will improve the fitter you get.

3. Wear clothes that fit you correctly.

In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.

Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.

4. Be kind to yourself.

Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.

5. Remind yourself often of your good qualities.

Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?

Make a list of at least five good qualities and remind yourself of them daily, but especially when you're having a bad day.

6. Don't dwell on your past mistakes.

Recognise that the mistake does not define who you are. You can fail an exam without being a failure. Your relationship might have gone off in the ditch but that does not mean you are a failure.

Keep things in perspective. It just means that you failed the exam or that the relationship failed.

7. Surround yourself with supportive people.

The last thing you need when you feel down or less-than-fabulous is to be surrounded by naysayers and negative people telling you that "all men suck" or "it's impossible to get that job you're after".

Choose carefully who you share your heart with and surround yourself with people who will encourage and motivate people. If you don't have many of those in your life, then contact me and I will be your cheerleader!

8. Keep learning new skills

Aside from keeping your mind sharp (and preventing Alzheimer's), be a life-long learner. I'm not necessarily talking about formal education.

What's stopping you from learning a new language, taking a dance class, learning some new computer skills, taking up blogging, etc. Learning will improve your confidence by leaps and bounds.

9. Take the time to reach out to other people through community programmes, etc.

If ever you feel down, there's no better upper than helping other people. Volunteer your services at a children's orphanage or an old aged home.

My challenge to you is this - next time you eat out at a restaurant, instead of sending half your meal back to the kitchen, get a doggie bag and give it to the beggar on the nearest corner. His appreciation will melt the hardest of hearts.

10. Learn to stand up for yourself

Your soul dies a tiny little bit every time you keep quiet when you should speak up for yourself. Being a doormat is not attractive and will get you nowhere in the long run.

If haven't had much practice before, start with small things. Insist on low-fat milk in your coffee. Return the milk that went sour before the due date. Write a letter of complain if you get bad customer service. And only when you're feeling more confident, then tackle bigger issues like speaking to your boss about overloading you with work or your friends about relationship issues.

Learn to say no. It's not a swear word - I promise.

Marcia Francois is a personal life coach and professional organiser who teaches small business owners and other busy people how to have more time, less stress and a more organised and fulfilled life. Visit http://organiseyourbusiness.com for your free Organise your Life e-book and other helpful tips.

30 Happiness Tips: Program Your Life for Optimum Enjoyment

For many of us, the goal of life isn't ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It's happiness, plain and simple.

Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hardwiring. For others, getting to happiness isn't always that simple. You weren't programmed that way.

But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours. If you've already achieved complete happiness, well done!
Experiment to find out what makes you happy.
Different things make different people happy. If you aren't sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.

Surround yourself with others who are happy.
If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can't help it. But if you're around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You'll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.

Count your blessings.
When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.

Gratitude sessions.
Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.

Think solutions.
Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, "Oh, this is so hard," or "Oh, I can't seem to do this," or "Man, we don't have any more of that," I just ask them, "Well, what's the solution?" If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you'll be much happier.

Connect with others.
As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you'd like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.

Accept things.
We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that's a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.

Take time to savor life.
Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.

Notice small things.
Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you're not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.

Treat yourself.
Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that's something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.

This shall pass.
When bad things happen, and you're having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: "This, too, shall pass." And it will. And you'll survive.

Volunteer.
When you give to others, whether that's money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It's true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

Follow your passions.
If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don't give up. Others have done it and you can too.

Look at your achievements.
Instead of looking at what you haven't done, or what you've failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that's much more than we realize.

Laugh.
Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, read a book by Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, go to humor sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.

Realize that you deserve it.You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don't believe they really deserve to be happy. It's often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

Get into the flow.
There is a state of doing known as Flow, which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but accomplishable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.

Have a goal.
Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.

Get inspired.
Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.

Celebrate.
When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

Autonomy.
Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It's best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.

Spend time doing something you love.
Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don't really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

Show little acts of kindness.
Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

Exercise.
Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

Catch negative thoughts.
Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Corny, but it helps.

Jealousy doesn't help.
Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.

Stop watching and reading news.
Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won't miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.

Learn something new.
It's strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don't know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

Check out nature.
Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that's a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.

Laugh some more.
When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realize the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you'll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2007/09/30-happiness-tips-program-your-life-for.html

القدرة على العطاء

العطاء

برواز واحد ..لصور عديدة ..
صور مختلفة .. متفاوتة..
ترمي كلها لرسم الابتسامة على القلوب ..
والتفاني من أجل ذلك ..

~~~~~

نحن عندما نعطي ..
في الواقع لا نعطي .. ولكننا نأخذ ..
نأخذ تلك المشاعر الممتنة ..
ممّن أمددناهم بعطائنا ..
فنسقي بها عطش قلوبنا ..
لترتوي من ذلك الفيض ..
فيض العطاء ..

فما هو العطاء ؟

العطاء.. أن تقدم لغيرك ما تجود به نفسك .. من غير سؤالهم إياك ..

العطاء .. أن تبادر بتقديم كل ما تستطيع لمن تحب ، لتعطيه رسائل مباشرة

وغير مباشرة بين الحين والآخر .. لتعلمه بمدى مكانته عندك .. ومدى تقديرك وحبك له ..

العطاء .. أن لا تعيش لأجل نفسك فقط ..

العطاء ..هو المنح .. أن تمنح الآخرين مما لديك ..

العطاء .. أن لا تنظر لقيمة ما ستعطي .. ولكن أن تنظر إلى مقدار ما سيحدثه ومدى تأثيره ..

العطاء .. مادي ومعنوي ، والتنويع بينهما أمر جميل ولكن الأجمل لو قدمت كل منهما بفن ..

فتعطي عطاءً مادياً بقالب معنوي صادق ..

العطاء .. نهر لا يتوقف ..وبحر لا ينضب ..

العطاء .. أن تفرح بفرح من حولك لما قدمته لهم ..

العطاء الحقيقي .. حينما تعطي ولا تنتظر أي مقابل ..

العطاء الصادق .. حينما تعطي دون أن تشعر أنك مرغم على ذلك ..


صور للعطاء

عطاء الأم والأب ..

أكبر مثال للعطاء في الكون ..
فهو بلا توقف .. بلا دوافع .. بلا أسباب .. بلا مقابل .. مادي ومعنوي ..
كله تضحية وتفاني وحب ..

عطاء المعلم ..

ولكن ليس أي معلم .. إنما المعلم الذي يتفانى في توصيل المعلومة..

بتفاعل مع الطلاب ، يسمع لهم .. يحاورهم ويناقشهم ..

يشرح ليس لأنه عمله فقط ، ولكن لأن ذلك ما تملي عليه إنسانيته

وهو أن يقدم ما يستطيع ليغرس الفائدة في قلوب وعقول طلابه ..

عطاء الصداقة .. أن تقدم النصح بكل صراحة لصديقك عندما يحتاج ..

أن تقدم له وجودك معه في أصعب الللحظات .. تسانده تساعده..

أن تجعل وجودك معه يغنيه عن كل شيء ..!!

أن تعطيه أذناً وقلباً ينصت لهمومه ومشاكله . . وفكراً يعينه على حل تلك المشكلات ..

أن لا تجعله يبحث عنك عندما يحتاجك .. ولكن أن تكون بجانبه وقت حاجته لك ..

أن تكون وقت فرحه أول المهنئين .. ووقت حزنه أول المستندين ..

أن لا تنتظر مناسبة لتعبر عن مكانته عندك وحبك له .. فاجئه دائماً بهدية، رسالة ،

موقف لا ينساه ، خاطرة تكتبها فيه ،أو حتى ( مسج) تدخل به السرور على قلبه ..

أن تقترح المساعدة وتبادر بها قبل أن يطلبها منك ..

عطاء المحرومين ..

هل جربت يوماً أن تعطي يتيماً لمسة حنان ؟ اهتمام ؟ عطف ؟

هل جربت يوماً أن تفرح مسكيناً بهدية أو عيدية ؟! أو أي شيء مما تجود به يداك

ونفسك على من حرم مما أعطاك الله ..

عطاء الحب ..

كل إنسان معطاء .. هو إنسان محب ..

ومن أحب سيعطي من أحبه كل شيء.. وأي شيء .. ليسعده ..

وعلى اختلاف أنواع الحب .. فإنها تحتوي جميعاً على العطاء ..

فعطاء الحب يتضمن عطاء الأبوين والصداقة و عطاء المعلم، فلو لم يحبوا لما أعطوا !!

وعطاء الحب .. أن تشعر شريكك أنك دائماً تريده ..

وأن تشعره بحبك بلمسات بسيطة ، وأن تحسسه باهتمامك بكل ما فيه من تفاصيل ،

وبكل ما يقول وكل ما يشعر به وكل ما يفكر به .. وأن يكون لديك الشغف دائماً أن

تبحر في أعماقه .. وتعرف المزيد عنه ..

عطاء الحب .. أن لا تبخل بإحساسك ولمساتك ووجودك واهتمامك على من تحب ،

ولا حتى بكلماتك الرقيقة ومشاعرك الصادقة تجاهه ..

همسات .. ووقفات عطــــــائية ...

من لا يعطي .. وجوده وعدمه سواء ..

~~
على قدر عطائك يفتقدك الآخرين ..

~~
من لا يفرح بعطائنا .. بكل بساطة .. هو لا يستحقه ..
~~
من يستحق العطاء .. هو من يفرح بأقل ما أعطيناه .. بل ويراه بعدسة مكبرة ؟؟
~~
لا تفرح بما أعطاك الآخرون فقط .. ولكن افرح أنك مررت لحظة في تفكيرهم ..
~~
تريد أن تعرف قيمتك لدى الآخرين ؟؟ ! انظر ما مدى عطائك لهم ..

~~

من لايشعر بعطائنا أو لا يقدره .. إما أن لديه أسباب تمنعه من ذلك أو هو إنسان بلا شعور !!

~~
الإنسان المادي .. هو من لا يؤثر فيه إلا العطاء المادي .. !!

~~

قد يصل الإنسان لمرحلة يعطي فيها كل من حوله من يحبهم ومن يعرفهم فقط ..
لأنه أدمن العطاء ..فلم يعد يرى وجوده إلا من خلال انعكاس تصرفاته على من حوله ..

يفرح لسعادتهم ويسعد بتقديم العون ..

~~

عندما تكون شخصاً معطاءً .. فإنك لا تنتظر العطاء من غيرك .. بل تبادر به أنت ..
لعلّك تذكر من حولك .. فيقتدوا بك .. وتؤثر عليهم ..


~~
يبقى العطاء المادي شيء ملموس .. فلا بد منه بين حين وآخر ..


نصيحة .. يجب ان نعطي انفسنا الفرصه لاستغلال ايام حياتنا فلا تتسلل الايام من بين ايدينا
و لم نفعل شيئا ينفعنا في اخرتنا او ينتفع به احد من حولنا اثناء حياتنا او بعد مماتنا.
لا ننسي ان نذكر ان نعطي لمن حولنا و للمقربون منا. نعطيهم الوقت و الحب و الحنان و الاهتمام
و نغدق عليهم بكل ما نملك ونسعى لاسعادهم ونهتم بهم و نعطي كل ذي حق حقه ونتذكر ان لا نعتبر
وجودهم في حياتنا مضمونا او دائما... فلا نشعر بقيمتهم الا لو ضاعوا من بين ايدينا. .
و بذلك نتغلب علي حبنا لذاتنا و نؤثر الاخرين علي انفسنا.
صدقوني اخواني و اخواتي لو اتبعنا ذلك لعشنا جميعا اجمل حياة .
و لنعلم دائماً ان الحياه قصيره و اجمل ما فيها العطاء بكل ما في الكلمه من معاني جميله رقيقه ساميه.

6 أنشطة لتنمية الذكاء الاجتماعي

يعكس هذا النوع من الذكاء قدرة الفرد على فهم وإدراك وملاحظة مشاعر الآخرين وحالاتهم المزاجية، واحتياجاتهم، وتنعكس هذه القدرة في مهارات تعامل الفرد مع الآخرين وتحفيزهم.

يتمتع بهذا النوع من الذكاء: المعالجون النفسيون، رجال المبيعات، المدرسون، المستشارون، مرشدو الشباب، العاملون في المجال الاجتماعي، رجال الدعوة، المدربون الرياضيون، مشرفو نشاط الأطفال...

مميزات هذا الذكاء

يتميز من يتمتع بهذا الذكاء بالصفات التالية:

- يستمتع بصحبة الناس أكثر من الانفراد.

- يبدو قائدًا للمجموعة.

- يعطي نصائح للأصدقاء الذين لديهم مشكلات.

- يحب الانتماء للنوادي والتجمعات أو أي مجموعات منظمة.

- يستمتع بتعليم الآخرين بشكل كبير.

- لديه صداقة حميمة مع اثنين أو أكثر.

- يبدي تعاطفًا واهتمامًا بالآخرين.

- الآخرون يبحثون عن تعاطفه أو اهتمامه وصحبته.

- يسعى الآخرون لمشورته وطلب نصحه.

- يفضل الألعاب والأنشطة والرياضات الجماعية.

- يسعى للتفكير في مشكلة ما بصحبة الآخرين أفضل مما يكون بمفرده.

- يبدو جذابًا مشهورًا له شعبية.

- يعبر عن مشاعره وأفكاره واحتياجاته.

- يحب المناقشات الجماعية والاطلاع على وجهات نظر الآخرين وأفكارهم.

- يمكنه التعرف على مشاعر الآخرين، وتسميتها.

- يمكنه الانتباه لتغير الحالات المزاجية للآخرين.

- يحب الحصول على آراء الآخرين ويضعها في اعتباره.

- لا يخشى مواجهة الآخرين.

- يمكنه التفاوض.

- يمكنه التأثير في الآخرين.

- يمكنه عمل مناخ جيد أثناء وجوده.

- يمكنه تحفيز الآخرين ليقوموا بأفضل ما لديهم.

خطوات للتنمية

يمكن تقوية هذا النوع من الذكاء بتنمية كل السمات السابقة لدى الطفل، بأنشطة الجماعية ومنها:

- التفكير معًا (العصف الذهني الجماعي).

- الأنشطة الجماعية المختلفة.

- منح الطفل دور القيادة بعض الوقت.

- تعليمه وتدريبه على المهارات الاجتماعية المختلفة.

- تعليمه مهارات التفاوض وفض النزاعات والتعامل مع الآخرين.

- تعليمه التعاطف، والتعبير عن مشاعره وفهم مشاعر الآخرين.

- تدريبه على القيادة والتخطيط وتحفيز الآخرين.

- حث الطفل على القيام بأنشطة تطوعية جماعية، وتجد بعضها في:

* تطوع الصغار.. حلم وإبداع

* أول إيجابية الأطفال.. تعاطف

- علمه كيفية عقد صداقات والحفاظ عليها.

أنشطة الذكاء الاجتماعي

النشاط الأول: كل واحد يعلم واحدًا!

- افتح حوارًا مع طفلك صاحب هذا الذكاء -في وجود إخوته- حول الأشياء أو المهارات التي يمكنه أن يعلمها لغيره.

- اترك المجال لباقي الأطفال ليفكروا في مهارة شيء مميز يفعلونه، ويمكنهم أن يعلموه للآخرين؛ فربما أمكن لواحد أن يكون عارفًا بالأرقام بلغة جديدة.. عملات بلد ما، طريقة نشر الغسيل، وضع الأكواب بطريقة لطيفة... ويرغب في تعليمها لغيره أو في أن يتبادل الأطفال تلك المهارات.

- سجل مهارات كل طفل في قائمة، ثم ابدأ في تفعيل رغبة كل واحد لتعليم الآخرين بطريقة علمية.

- ناقش مع طفلك: ما الذي يحتاجه ليتم تعليمه لغيره، أيا من المهارات التي في القائمة، وما الخطوات التي سيتبعها.

- كوّن مع طفلك قائمة الصغار الذين يحتاجون هذه المساعدة. ومن الممكن أن يكون ذلك في إطار الأسرة الواحدة أو بين أسرتين من الأقارب أو الأصدقاء.

- يمكن أن تصنع مع طفلك بطاقات ملوّنة تحمل كل ما علمه طفلك لغيره وكل ما تعلمه طفلك من غيره أثناء رحلة تطوعه بالتعليم أو تدربه على يد غيره.

النشاط الثاني: استرجاع الذكريات الطيبة:

1- اجتمع مع أطفالك. اطلب من كل فرد منهم أن يتذكر عددًا من الأشخاص الطيبين المتعاونين الذين عاونوه في شيء ما أو جعلوه يشعر شعورًا جيدًا، وسجلوا معًا كل الخبرات كالآتي:

- ساعدني السائق في حمل حقيبتي.

- علمني أخي كيف ألعب الشطرنج.

- شجعتني أمي على القفز في حمام السباحة.

- أثنت صديقتي على اختياري للألوان في لوحتي.

2- ناقشوا معًا كيف يمكن أن يؤثر التعاون بين الأشخاص على مشاعرنا وعلى تحسين حياتنا.

3- يمكن أن يرسم الأطفال رسومًا توضيحية لما مروا به من خبرات طيبة.

4- يمكن أن تكون فرصة طيبة ليرسل للشخص الذي عاونه رسالة قصيرة يشكره على الشعور الطيب الذي سببه له تعاونه معه. على أن نحاول أن نجعل من هذا النشاط فرصة لإدخال كلمات الامتنان إلى قاموسه بحيث تصبح مألوفة مستخدمة من قبل الطفل، مثل:

(أتذكر عندما...، ذات مرة...، ساعدتني على...، كان لدي شعور بصعوبة الأمر حتى ساعدتني على...، شكرًا لك لأنك جعلتني أشعر بـ...).

النشاط الثالث: تمييز المشاعر:

هذا النشاط يساعد الأطفال على الاستكشاف الذاتي، وخطوات هذا النشاط:

1- اكتب الجمل التالية على ورقة كبيرة أو لوحة، ثم ضعها في صندوق.

ماذا تشعر عندما...

- يثنى على شيء جيد فعلته؟

- لم يتم اختيارك في لعبة؟

- تنجح في حل كل مسائل الحساب؟

- أخذ زميل لك شيئًا بالقوة؟

- تتشارك مع زميل في عمل ما؟

- تكسب مباراة؟

- تريد الحصول على شيء يمتلكه آخرون؟

- تُترك في البيت بمفردك؟

- تقبلك أمك أو تعانقك؟

- تُتهم بفعل شيء لم تفعله؟

- يخبرك شخص ما بأنك ذكي ولطيف ومهذب؟

- عندما يلعب معك أخوك الأكبر؟

2- اجلس أنت وأطفالك في دائرة.

3- اختر بالتناوب قائدًا ليقف في وسط الدائرة:

- دعه يلتقط ورقة من الورق ويقرأ الجملة التي بها بصوت عال.

- اطلب منه أن يختار شخصًا ما من الدائرة ليتفاعل معه بالرد، على أن يبدأ جملة رده بكلمة: "أنا أشعر..."، ويمكنه أن يعبر بالكلمات أو بتعبيرات الوجه والجسم.

ثم يخمن الشخص الآخر (قائد الدائرة) شعور المعبر. ويناقش لماذا يشعر شخص ما هذا الشعور، وكيف يؤثر في سلوكه، وكيف يمكن أن يستبدل بالشعور السيئ شعورا آخر جيدا.

4- المناقشة أهم ما في هذا النشاط: حاول أن يركز الجميع على كيفية الشعور والتعبير عنه، ولماذا يشعر كل فرد هذا الشعور، وكيف تجنب أحد ما شعورًا سلبيًّا، كذلك يساعد هذا النشاط في التعرف على مشاعر الآخرين عن طريق تعبيرات الآخرين لفظيًّا أو بملامح الوجه والجسم.

الجمل السابقة تمثل مجرد أمثلة للجمل التي يمكن مناقشتها والتمثيل حولها، ويمكن أن تنسج غيرها.

النشاط الرابع: الرسم الجماعي:

- اجلسوا معًا في دائرة.

- أعطِ كل طفل قطعة من الورق وقلمًا ملونًا.

- اطلب منهم أن يكتبوا أسماءهم على الأوراق.

- اطلب منهم أن يبدأ كل منهم في رسم أي شيء في خياله.

- بعد دقيقة واحدة، اطلب من كل منهم أن يمرر الورقة لليمين.

واطلب منهم أن يرسموا مرة أخرى، إكمالاً على ما في الورقة التي وصلتهم من رسم، وهكذا... استمر في تمرير الورق كل دقيقة إلى أن تعود لصاحبها الأول.

- وعند وصول كل ورقة إلى صاحبها اطلب من الجميع أن يستمر في الرسم هذه المرة لمدة (5 - 10) دقائق.

- ناقش كيف يمكن لكل منهم أن يبني على أفكار الآخرين، وكيف يمكنه أن يفهم أعمال الآخرين ويضيف إليها.

- علّق كل الرسومات، واحتفلوا معًا.

النشاط الخامس: تأليف القصص الجماعية:

نفس نشاط الرسم السابق يمكن أن ينفذ من خلال كتابة القصص. بحيث يبدأ فرد من المجموعة ببداية قصة، ثم يكمل الذي يليه، وهكذا حتى تكتمل القصة.

ويمكن أيضًا أن يكتب كل منهم قصة أو يمليها عليك -حسب أعمارهم-، ثم تبدأ في تقسيمها لمشاهد أو مواقف مختلفة بحيث تحاولون معًا تركيب مشهد من قصة على مشهد من قصة أخرى...، ويكمل كل طفل القصة بطريقة أخرى حسب هذه الإضافة الجديدة أو سير الأحداث الجديد.

النشاط السادس: العصف الذهني الجماعي:

يمكن أن تقوم بهذا النشاط كطريقة يومية للمناقشة والتفكير مع أطفالك حول تفاصيل قراراتكم واختياراتكم اليومية، مثل:

- أماكن للنزهة.

- وجبات يومية.

- المشتريات المطلوبة.

- أفكار لتجميل الغرفة.

- قصص للقراءة.

هذا النشاط يفيد الطفل في التشارك في المقترحات مع الغير، إضافة للبناء على أفكار الآخرين أو مراعاة وجهة نظرهم ورغباتهم حين الاختيار أو القرار. ولذا أهم ما يميز هذا النشاط احترام كل وجهات النظر والأفكار وتسجيلها لتكون بمثابة بنك للأفكار يلجأ إليه الجميع وقت الحاجة.



التوقيع
الحكمة هي معرفة الحق وعمل الخير وهى الفضيلة العليا التي يحقق بها الإنسان إنسانيته وبها يستشرف إلى عالم أرقى وأسمى من هذا العالم الذي نعيش فيه


كتابة 25-08-2004 عند 03:19 ::طباعة:: اقتباساقتباس أضفه لموضوعاتك المفضلة
OFF-Line عضو جيد البرفيسور
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سجل في : 01-07-2003
البلد: المملكة العربية السعودية
المواضيع : 140
النقاط: 377






- 6 أنشطة لتنمية ذكاء طفلك اللغوي -


يعد الذكاء اللفظي/ اللغوي هو القدرة على استخدام اللغة للتعبير، والتواصل، الإقناع، التحفيز، طرح معلومات وأفكار... ويتضمن الذكاء اللغوي -ليس فقط- إنتاج اللغة، ولكن حساسية عالية للفروق الطفيفة بين الكلمات، وترتيب وسجع الكلمات.

* كيف أتعرف على هذا النوع من الذكاء لدى طفلي؟

1- يكتب أفضل من أقرانه.

2- يغزل حكاية طويلة، أو يحكي نكات، وقصصا.

3- لديه ذاكرة جيدة للأسماء، الأماكن، التواريخ، الهواتف...

4- يستمتع بالألعاب الكلامية.

5- يستمتع بقراءة الكتب.

6- يتهجى الكلمات بدقة (الصغار بطبيعة الحال لم تنمُ لديهم بالطبع هذه المهارة أصلا).

7- يحب السجع، التلاعب بالألفاظ، زلات اللسان،...

8- يستمتع بالاستماع للكلمة المنطوقة (قصص، تعليقات أو تفسيرات في الراديو مثلا أو التلفزيون، الأحاديث، الكتب).

9- لديه حصيلة لغوية جيدة بالنسبة لسنه.

10- يتواصل مع الآخرين بمهارة لفظية عالية.

ذكاءات مختلفة

راقب طفلك وسجل نواحي قوة لفظية أخرى لديه، يمكننا توظيف هذه الإستراتيجيات في تعليم كل طفل يتميز بنوع من أنواع الذكاءات المختلفة.

الذكي لغويا.. يتعلم أفضل عن طريق:

- الكتابة.

- القراءة الفردية والجماعية.

- مجموعات نقاشية (كبيرة أو صغيرة).

- مناقشة أي نشاط يقوم به.

- مادة مقروءة أو مسموعة: كتب، أوراق عمل، كتيبات.

- عصف ذهني.

- الكتب المسموعة، الكاسيت.

- الاحتفاظ بمذكرات، يسجل فيها كل ما يمر به.

- المحاضرات، المناظرات.

- استخدام المعاجم، الموسوعات.

* كيف ندعم هذا الذكاء؟

اللغة عبارة عن عدة مهارات: الكتابة، القراءة، التحدث، الاستماع.. نمِّ كلا من هذه الطرق بكل ما تصادفه من فرص، مثل:

- الألعاب الكلامية: http://www.vocabulary.com/

- حكي الحكايات.

- وصف الصور، كتابة تعليقات على الصور المختلفة.

- تعليم الكتابة الإبداعية.

- هواية المراسلة.

- الدردشة عبر الإنترنت.

- الاشتراك في جماعات الخطابة، المناظرات، التأليف، الصحافة...

- عمل حلقات نقاشية عديدة: أسرية أو نظمها بينه وبين جماعة من أصحابه: حدد موضوعا للنقاش واطلب من كل عضو في الجماعة النقاشية أن يسجل أفكاره.

وهذه بعض الأنشطة التي يمكنك أن تنفذها مع طفلك:

أنشطة الذكاء اللغوي

النشاط الأول.. القاموس الشخصي للطفل:

القاموس أداة قيمة جدا للتعلم، خاصة إذا صنعه الطفل بنفسه من الكلمات التي يبحث عنها ويحتاج معرفتها، لهذا شجع طفلك على صنع قاموسه الخاص بوضع عدة أوراق معا. اطلب منه أن يكتب في كل صفحة الكلمة الجديدة التي تعلمها حديثا. إذا كانت الكلمة يمكن توضيحها بصورة، فدعه يبحث في المجلات والجرائد ليجد الصورة التي تعبر عن هذه الكلمات ليقصها ويلصقها.

ساعد الطفل ليكتب معنى كل كلمة. ويكون جملة يستخدم فيها هذه الكلمة الجديدة. يمكن للطفل أن يستخدم هذه الجمل كأساس لقصة مبدعة.

شجع طفلك أن يقرأ لك هذه القصة. ولأفراد الأسرة. أو تشارك معه كتابة قصة قصيرة تتضمن بعض جمله التي كتبها.

النشاط الثاني.. تعليم كتابة المذكرات

* احتفظ بمفكرتين جذابتين واحدة لك والأخرى لطفلك.

* شجع طفلك ليأتي بأفكار جديدة يمكنه الكتابة عنها.

* اعقد جلسة عصف ذهني وسجل نتائجها في الصفحة الأخيرة من المفكرة لتكون بمثابة مرشد للموضوعات التي يمكنه أن يكتب فيها:

- صداقة جديدة - مقابلة شخصية جديدة: غريبة، لطيفة، أو مشهورة...

- زيارة مكان جديد - نشاط لطيف قام به الطفل في البيت، المدرسة، النادي...

- شعوره في اليوم الأول بالمدرسة - مشروعات يتمنى القيام بها.

- أشخاص يتمنى مقابلتهم - أماكن يتمنى الذهاب إليها.

* اسأل الطفل وتداول معه هذه الأفكار ونبهه ليراقب عامدا هذه الأشياء.

* أبق أنت أيضا مفكرة، ورافق طفلك وقت الكتابة فيها.

* من الممكن أن يقرأ كل منكما أجزاء مما كتب. لتتشاركا النقاش والتفاعل حول ما كتب.

نقاط مهمة لنجاح النشاط:

* المداومة عليه.

* عدم الاهتمام بالقواعد الإملائية والنحوية أو توجيه النقد والتصويب؛ حتى لا يمل الطفل...

* اختيار الطفل لما يود الكتابة عنه.

النشاط الثالث.. صندوق البريد الأسري:

يسعد الأطفال كثيرا حين تلقي أي نوع من الرسائل. استمتعا معا بتداول أفكاركما ومشاعركما عبر هذه الرسائل.

* اشرح لطفلك كيف تتم عملية الكتابة نفسها: نفكر في فكرة ثم نقول هذه الفكرة في كلمات.. نضعها على الورق لنحتفظ بها أو لنرسلها إلى من نحب.

* اصنعا معا صندوق بريد منزليا.

* دعه يراك تكتب رسالة، خطابا ليفهم أن أفكارنا ومشاعرنا نعبر عنها وتدون بالكلمات.

* أرسل له بريدا تخبره فيه عن شيء مهم له. أو مشاعرك في موقف ما...

* اطلب من أحد الأقارب أو الأصدقاء أن يكتب له، ليشجعه على رد الرسالة.

* شاركه تصميم وكتابة العبارات اللطيفة غير التقليدية: لا تملي عليه عباراتك التقليدية، بل ساعده لابتكار كلماته وتعبيراته الخاصة.

* اصنعا معا البطاقات وأرسلاها للصديق أو القريب.

النشاط الرابع.. بناء القصة:

ساعد طفلك على تمييز أجزاء القصة. ليكون أكثر وعيا أثناء القراءة، وكذلك ليسهل عليه فيما بعد كتابة قصصه الخاصة...

وهذه الأجزاء هي:

* الشخصيات (الأشخاص أو الحيوانات...).

* الحبكة: الوقت، والمكان الذي تدور فيه القصة.

* المشكلة: الصعوبات التي واجهتها شخصيات القصة وتغلب عليها وحلها.

* الحل (فك الحبكة): الحل للصعوبة أو المشكلة في القصة.

أحضر قصة لتقرأها مع طفلك. وتناوبا تعيين أجزائها:

* العنوان.

* الشخصية الرئيسية.

* المكان والزمان.

* المشكلة.

* الحل.

النشاط الخامس.. معان مختلفة:

تعلم المفردات والمعاني يعد مهما في التعلم. وكلما زاد وعى الطفل اللغوي، وعرف العديد من المفردات للكلمة الواحدة.. استخدم اللغة بطريقة أفضل، وزاد فهمه وإدراكه.

* اجعل الطفل يجد كلمة يعرف معناها جيدا، مثل: سفينة، ويعرفها الطفل بأنها وسيلة مواصلات تسير في المياه.

* اعرض نفس الكلمة في سياق آخر كأن تقول: كلنا في سفينة واحدة. واسأله عن معنى هذه الكلمة في الجملة الثانية.

* شجع طفلك ليجد كلمة جديدة كل يوم، أو كلمة قديمة في سياق جديد، ويسجلها في دفتره الخاص. احتفلا معا بكم الكلمات الجديدة التي تعلمها.

النشاط السادس.. شبكة الكلمات:

* اختر كلمة مثل: وسيلة مواصلات، واكتبها في منتصف الصفحة، اطلب من طفلك أن يفكر في أشياء أخرى تخبرنا أكثر عن هذه الكلمة، مثل: أنواع وسائل الواصلات (سيارات، أتوبيسات، درجات...).

* استخدامات لوسائل المواصلات: التنقل، الترفيه....

* وصف هذه الوسائل وطريقة حركتها: سريعة، بطيئة، خطرة....

* غيّر الكلمات في كل مرة وتشارك مع طفلك، واستمتع بمرونة تفكير طفلك وتوسيع إدراكه عن طريق التفكير في نقاط عدة تستدرها كلمة واحدة تطرحها.

building self confidence

http://www.2knowmyself.com/self_confidence/building_self_confidence

What Is Self-confidence?

Self-confidence is the belief that you can handle a certain situation correctly. Self-confidence is knowing that you don't lack any of the necessary skills in order to successfully complete a task. This task could vary from a social activity like being able to approach someone you don't know, to a professional activity like the ability to complete a certain task that your work or your business needs.
Where Does Self-confidence Come From?

Without confidence you will surely miss a lot of available opportunities because you will be afraid to take the risk of trying something that you aren't sure you can handle. The following are some facts about self-confidence:

* Self confidence is never inherited, it's learned. The belief that you lack the genes or something like that is just a popular myth.(See personality and genes relation.)
* Self confidence is not general, instead you have different confidence levels for all the different activities you do. For example, you may be confident about your ability to drive a car but at the same time dread public speaking.
* Self confidence is not constant with time; it may change to the better or worse due to new events happening in your life.
* Self confidence may be independent of external factors, like being rich or having someone who loves you back.

What Can I Do to Build My Self-confidence?

You could be more confident through the total elimination of dependency upon others' judgment. This is because if you don't really have a solid knowledge of your abilities and of who you are, you will most likely be depending on others to tell you who you are and to define your abilities and limitations for you. If they were satisfied by your actions, then they may tell you that you are a good person; if not, they may label you a fool, an idiot or anything else that suits their own point of view. You will of course welcome these labels and add them to your idea about yourself because you've left the judgment to them from the beginning.
How to Eliminate Dependency on Others' Judgment

Correcting this problem is very simple: Get a piece of paper and write down your strengths and your weaknesses. Keep editing this paper until you are satisfied with what you've written. Now keep reading it daily until you are really sure that what you wrote down are your real abilities and skills. Now, whenever you are faced by someone criticizing you or labeling you, you can simply see if any of what he said matches your judgment of yourself. If it doesn't, just drop the comment.
Is it Rude to Disregard Others' Opinion About You?

You may think that it's rude to judge yourself without referring to others' judgment; but lets face reality, if you are twenty years old, you should know yourself better someone who's only known you for a few months and so your judgment will probably be the most relevant. Moreover, in such an imperfect world, you will never be able to get a sufficient answer to your questions and your quest for gathering clues from others will never end.(See this article for more information.)

Just like anybody else, you definitely have people who consider you their enemy, are jealous of you or just dislike you for one reason or another. People such as these will almost never tell you that you're great at something, or that you're talented at a particular activity and so you will find it extremely difficult to get an honest judgment of your abilities from anyone. Consequently, the best thing to do would be to depend on your own judgment of yourself.
Self-confidence and Making Mistakes

Some mothers shout at their children as soon as they break anything, stain their clothes, forget to do their chores or any other minor mistake. Treating a child in this way results in him thinking that doing something wrong is shameful and that making mistakes makes him different from other perfect people who do not make mistakes. When this child grows up and makes a certain mistake in front in public, like dropping a glass or having something go wrong during a presentation, it appears to him as an embarrassing situation and will cause him to think that he is not up to the standard of other people. These kinds of thoughts will gradually but surely damage his confidence.

A parent's role should be building self-confidence in their children by encouraging them to try new things and not to be afraid of making mistakes. The parent should teach them that, as a human being, error's are unavoidable; so it's best to accept your mistakes without criticizing or labeling yourself.
Self-confidence and Inferiority Complex

One very important thing to note here is whether your lack of self-confidence is because any of the reasons we mentioned earlier, or if it is because of a deeply rooted inferiority complex. If suffering from an inferiority complex is your problem, skip to this section. Simply put, inferiority complex is a disorder that develops as a result of feeling inferior when compared to your peers or friends. This can act as a barrier to building self-confidence and so it is necessary to deal with it first.
Self-confidence and Perfectionism

In the Solid Self confidence program i explained that one of the great causes for a lack of self-confidence is being a perfectionist. A perfectionist always sets impossible goals and very high standards that he can never meet and this causes his confidence to degrade as he success escapes him again and again. One example of these impossible standards could be "I must never make mistakes if I want to be great at what I do".
Lack of Self-confidence and Assertiveness

A lack of assertiveness in communication can also lead to having less confidence of your abilities. If you are assertive, this will help you feel that you are in control, important and more worthy of respect and attention. Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and needs without being aggressive; it's also the way of communication that makes you stand up for your rights and never let them go while at the same time avoiding violating others' rights.
Lack of Self-confidence and Negative Self-talk

Usually, the lack of self confidence is associated with negative self talk; which are the negative phrases and words you keep telling yourself while doing your normal thinking process. Stopping those negative words and phrases and replacing them with positive ones can not only increase your confidence but can help in fixing many of your emotional problems.
Lack of Self-confidence and Poor Self Image

Sometimes the underlying cause for a lack of self-confidence is having a poor self image. An example of this is if you think that you are ugly and so lack confidence whenever you meet new people. In order to know whether or not your lack of self-confidence is rooted in your poor self image; there is a small test that you can do: If you find that you feel more confident wearing your best shirt and much less confident when wearing something else, then your lack of confidence may be a direct result of the poor self image you have of yourself. In that case, fixing your poor mental self image is all what you have to do to restore your self-confidence.
Self confidence and love

People fall in love with those who can help them compensate for their weaknesses and those who have complementary personal traits. In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i described how presenting yourself as someone who is confident can increase your chance of making someone fall in love with you. It was found that women become more attracted to confident and assertive men especially if they were shy themselves.

If you found a way to convince people that you are confident you will definitely have more fans and you will increase your chance of making someone fall in love with you.
Self-confidence and Knowledge

When you know the benefit of something that you do regularly, you will be much more confident talking about it and doing it than if you were just doing it out of habit. Although you shouldn't have to provide an explanation to other people for what you, the power of knowing can still give your self-confidence a big boost. (See the power of knowledge.)
Self-confidence and Comparing Yourself to Others

Some people have developed the terrible habit of always comparing themselves to others; what's worse is that they choose to compare criteria that almost always puts them at the weak end of the comparison. They ignore all that is great about them and pick just this one thing that they lack and compare it to others. On finding that they are different, they feel less confident about themselves and their abilities. This behavior only results in damaging their already worn self-confidence. (Read this article to know how to avoid these unhealthy comparisons.)
Fear and Lack of Self-confidence

do you know that fear can also steal some of your self-confidence? If you are afriad of ghosts or of the dark, your subconscious mind will probably be a little confused as to why you think you should feel confident when you find yourself helpless in certain harmless situations like being alone in the dark. The more helpless you feel, the more your self-confidence will erode as a result.
You can still be confident even when afraid of something, but facing your fears will make you that much more confident than you already are.
Self-confidence and the Self Reinforcing Cycle

Just as your personality affects your behavior, so does your behavior affect your personality. Acting in a non-assertive way will result in your feeling less confident and will lead to a self reinforcing cycle; where your continuously decreasing self-confidence makes you even less assertive and this in turn weakens you further. This can also work the other way round, since by forcing yourself to act in a confident and assertive way, you will start feeling more confident which reinforces and strengthens you even more. (Check this article for more details about this reverse effect.)

The book “How to get over someone in few days” was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded. 2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself

Self-Confidence

from http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html

What is Self-Confidence?

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. At Mind Tools, we believe that there's some truth in this, but that it's just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – thereby building competence. Without this underlying competence, you don't have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.
Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or 5-minute solution.

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we’ll use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.
Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:

Look at what you've already achieved:

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log." Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Think about your strengths:

Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis (explore personal SWOT Analysis here) to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.

Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think about what's important to you, and where you want to go:

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our article on goal setting to find out how to use this important technique, or use our Life Plan Workbook to think through your own goals in detail (see "Tip" below).
Tip:
A good way of getting going with this is to use the Mind Tools Life Plan Workbook. Supported by worksheets and advice, this guides you through a simple 5-step process for setting your life goals, and for organizing yourself for success.

Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. A tip: Make sure it’s a very small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!

Start managing your mind:

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence. See our article on rational positive thinking to find out how to do this.

Further useful reading includes our article on imagery – this teaches you how to use and create strong mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals – there’s something about doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

And then commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the risks you face, read our Risk Analysis and Management article.

Either way, make that promise!

Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

So How Self Confident Are You? Take our short quiz to find out how self-confident you are already, and start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.
Step 2: Setting Out

This is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By doing the right things, and starting with small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.

Build the knowledge you need to succeed:

Looking at your goals, identify the skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well. Don’t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution – look for a solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you a certificate or qualification you can be proud of.

Focus on the basics:

When you’re starting, don’t try to do anything clever or elaborate. And don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.

Set small goals, and achieve them:

Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Don’t make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start piling up the successes!

Keep managing your mind:

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. You can also use a technique like Treasure Mapping to make your visualizations even stronger!

And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to see them in a positive light. After all, there’s a lot to be said for the saying “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”
Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success

By this stage, you’ll feel your self-confidence building. You’ll have completed some of the courses you started in step 2, and you’ll have plenty of success to celebrate!

This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger, and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills you’ve proven into new, but closely related arenas.

Tip 1:
Keep yourself grounded – this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don’t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake…

Tip 2:
If you haven't already looked at it, use our How Self Confident Are You? quiz to find out how self-confident you are, and to identify specific strategies for building self-confidence.

As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you'll find your self-confidence building apace. What's more, you'll have earned your self-confidence – because you’ll have put in the hard graft necessary to be successful!

How to cope with emotional eating

Emotional eating

All the diet advice in the world isn't going to help you reach your weight loss goals, unless you tackle emotional eating first. Emotional eating is one of the main saboteurs of healthy weight loss plans.

When negative emotions drive you to that comforting strawberry cheesecake, typically it only soothes you momentarily. If this sounds like you though, there's no need to feel bad about it.

Most people admit to reaching for their favorite chocolate bar or pack of crisps as a way to cope with negative feelings. These can be emotions such as low self esteem, loneliness, boredom, anger, stress, fear or guilt.
Emotional eating triggers

A positive, healthy pattern must be established to deal with these feelings, so you don't need to use food as an escape. It's important to identify your emotional eating triggers, then learn to divert your attention to something else until the cravings subside.

Triggers can be anything that causes you stress or unhappiness. Relationships are often the cause - whether its your family, love life, friendships or even office politics. Recognizing your times of weakness will actually give you the strength to maintain your willpower when you need it.
Signs of emotional eating

Here are the top 3 signs that you are a victim of emotional eating:

* A sudden urge to eat something specific NOW (usually your favorite comfort food), when physical hunger isn't even present.
* Continuing to eat even after already full.
* Feelings of guilt after eating. If you're really eating to satisfy hunger, this does not happen.

Dealing with emotional eating

Next time you get one of those uncontrollable cravings, try a few of the following ideas. Then wait 20 minutes and hopefully your destructive cravings will vanish!

* Firstly, have some healthy, guilt free options like your favorite fruit or low fat yogurt on hand to satisfy that naughty food craving. If you have a pantry full of your favorite food, get rid of it and you won't even be tempted.
* Walking is a great way to get fit, and also combats negative feelings. Use it as a way to catch up with friends, take your dog out or just put on your iPod with your favorite tunes.
* Swimming is also fantastic for your body and very therapeutic for those negative feelings.
* Write a letter or call up someone you haven't talked to in a while.
* Meditation and Yoga are very calming ways to balance mood levels.
* Get a massage or convince your partner to give you one.
* A hot bath.
* Catch up on your cleaning, laundry, or gardening.

Lastly, remember that emotional eating is just human nature. You don't need to beat yourself up if you slip up a bit now and then. Just forget about and re-focus on a slimmer, healthier you.


http://www.modeldietplan.com/emotional-eating.htm